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The Angry Designer - 2011 April
Apr 27

spinning beach ball of death

i try to do a routine save-as-you-go every hour or so as a rule of thumb.

so i go to save my last 45 minutes of design awesomeness.





i fucking hate you spinning beach ball of death.

you owe me 45 minutes of design time. and 45 minutes of my life back.

for the record, mac / apple computers do crash. not all the time, but they do crash. especially when working on something important.

p.s.- i hate you.

Apr 14

not so angry today

today was a relatively great day. nothing to rant about. i did find this awesome cake very funny. it’s as funny as an old man with alzheimer’s flipping off little kids at the mall.

i found this awesome pic on thechive.com

Apr 7

goal planning for dummies

i had another sweet meeting with our owner this morning. apparently i did not use the “S.M.A.R.T.” method when i planned out my personal company goals.

here is the “S.M.A.R.T.” method:

S= Specific

basically the smart method makes sure your chosen company goals are not dreams and actual goals. no shit?

when i originally set my goals with my boss (not the owner) we basically came up with the goal of learning a few key specific skills that would help generate more revenue for the company, which in turn would generate more revenue in my paycheck.

so i came up with this awesome diagram to help my goals fit in the smart system:

yep. i think i pretty much nailed this S.M.A.R.T. method down with my boss when we made my original red goal card featured in this awesome diagram.

you should all thank me for breaking all this complicated shit down for you.

Apr 6

free candy and a free ride in my van

there was a creepy dude sitting in his vehicle out in the parking lot for a disturbingly long ass amount of time. there he sat in the front fucking row, facing inside our shop.

he was on the phone for a while (probably talking to his favorite pedophile priest about only god knows what),

then he sat and started eating his lunch and stared in at us while he chewed with his mouth open. then he decides to come in the store and start designing his awesome brochure on his laptop in our lobby. he has a proof printed out & it looks like a shitty art project that belongs on grannie’s refrigerator with a sweet alphabit magnet. all it needs is some dried macaroni glued to it. now he wants free photoshop lessons on how to make his shitty photo look better- guess what- it’s a shitty fucking photo. ansel adams would throw up if he saw it being reproduced. i think he’s in a hurry to get out of here, most likely because the local elementary school bus is about to drop all the cute little kids off from school at his favorite bus stop with sweet parking for windowless ford econoline vans.

Apr 5

unattended children will be sold into slavery

clients in front of shop keep letting their kids run rampant in the front area. i wish i had some espresso and a free kitten for each of the two little shit making machines. maybe a mountain dew and a king size bag of skittles for each kid will suffice.

seriously parents- one smack to the back of the head is different from repeated smacks to the back of the head with a fist. it’s not abuse unless you leave a visible bruise.

also for a side note- quit eating clomid like it’s candy- maybe try some yaz or depo or a nuvaring.



Apr 4

Three Wolf Moon T-shirt

A couple of weeks ago we had one of our clients come into the office.  He is a photographer and specializes in nature and wild animal photos.  He deals with bears and especially wolves.  He was wearing a three eagle t-shirt which I must admit is pretty awesome.  This awesome shirt reminded me of my favorite shirt which I am sure my customer has.  It is called the three wolf moon shirt which comes with amazing powers.  While wearing this shirt, you can attract more women, or men if you are gay. It will help you grow a mullet 5 times faster, and has natural healing powers.  If you don’t believe me, please read the reviews from Amazon.  If it’s on the internet, then it has to be true.  http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve-Medium/dp/B000NZW3J8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301946095&sr=8-1

I wish all my customers were this computer illiterate and stylish.